Absolutely Hilarious Rules Cats Have Set In Their Home!

Once we adopt a cat, our home becomes his! As every true cat person already knows, the cats are in charge!

The Reddit community has gotten together and created this hilarious list of the “rules of the house” – as set by cats.


“The day begins at 4am.”


“Leave the door open, you dont need privacy in toilet.”


“You can touch but don’t touch.”
“I want food right now but I will eat later.”


“No placing of hands or feet outside of blankets.”


“Once your alarm goes off, it’s cuddle time. Oh, you want to go back to sleep? Then you’ll have to do so with 11 lbs of Bogart on your chest.”


“If they meow in the middle of the night, I must respond immediately (or else be hit in the face with their sharp claws).”
“Any accessible bread products will be destroyed (not eaten, just shredded).”
“They must sit as close to my face as possible, preferably on my face. My inability to breathe is my problem.”


“Cats eat before dogs.”
“Dogs do not touch cat toys, but cats can have free reign over dog toys.”
“Cats get the spot on the bed that they want, dogs may have the leftovers.”


“If you do not maintain visual contact with cheese products at all times you agree to forfeit your right to finish eating said cheese products.”


“When you shut off all the lights to go to bed, that is ancient cat language for war. And therefore I will attack your legs as soon as the lights go off.”


“You shall not roll over while you’re asleep.”


“The mail no longer belongs on the counters. It now belongs on the floor. Also, any pen or pencil I might leave out.”


“If I can see the bottom of the bowl at any space, bowl is empty and screaming will commence until it is filled.”
“If you do anything to my poop box, I must immediately rechristen it.”
“The spring on the bottom of the door is your new alarm clock. All closed doors must be screamed at until they open.”


“All housemates must gaze upon my anus daily.”


“When out, I want in. When in, I want out. You must open the door immediately upon my calling… and then let me ponder what to do next no matter how long it takes. Doesn’t matter if the AC is on… or if bugs are flying into the house… no. You shall keep it open until I decide and continue to do so no matter how many times I want in or out.”


“Quickly determine which guest hates cats the most. Sit on that lap. Bonus points if said guest is allergic.”